How Long Does Loneliness Last?

We’re all losing people, routines, ways of life; but I have to hope that there’s a higher purpose behind the circus.
Next Sat. (7/4) will be 3 months to the day that my brother left this earthly plane.
Yesterday, at the end of our weekly Facebook live-stream, we did a spoken word loop of this poem, an energetic dedication.
While losing people we love is especially difficult during a global pandemic/revolution, I’m grateful that I’ve had extra down time to write, reflect and meditate; it’s my way of processing my grief, the collective grief, and finding moments of peace.

PS – re: the ‘mask’ in the 2nd paragraph – not the mask debate we see today, but the proverbial mask/disguise we all wear in various moments and phases of life.  Not that I had to tell you that, but maybe I did.

5/4/20 –
Thumbing through the past
With my flag at half mast
The shadows that it’s cast
The questions I should’ve asked

How long does loneliness last?
Why you always wore a mask
Why you never filled your glass
Why you left so fast

It’s been a full 30 days
I know we’ve all prayed
That you’re on the side of grace
That you’re in a better place

But I still miss your face
And even the games that you played
And your mischievous ways
Using words like a maze

As down time increases
We’re all searching for the pieces
Of the puzzle to your story
To find any reasons

While the heartache never ceases
It changes form with the seasons
While our memory decreases
Yours, it just freezes.

My brother and my grandfather, both in the great beyond

My brother and grandmother, both in the great beyond

My brother, Matthew. RIP (1975-2020)


The beautiful, haunting cemetery in Terlingua, TX, March 2020.


On this Solstice and Father’s Day, and time of great change, let us see each other without all of the grievances and differences.  Let us see each other through an open heart and willingness to love, to forgive and to be essentially happy.

11/30/19 –
Open your heart and receive
Open your mind and believe
Open your soul and let leave
All the dark that would deceive

Open your heart and let leave
All the parts full of grief
Call the egos bluff
And believe you are enough

Raise up your aim
Let go of fear and shame
Experience your worth
Share your light on this earth

Come to know the grace of your path
Follow soul’s pace and laugh

We are each unique in how we live and speak
The world not so lonely and bleak
When we allow ourselves to drink
The radiance of life and not shrink or sink

Then we allow ourselves to blink
And see a world where we’re all linked
Interconnected instead of dissected
Respected instead of rejected

Stand under this great, big sun
And know the light touches everyone
We’re all rooted to this planet earth
Know that we all have equal worth

Ships That Sink

It’s sad to say that nearly 3 years later, under the rule of a hater, we’re deeper in the crater
Global depression under a fool’s obsession for power and oppression
How will we stand up and show up for humanity against this insanity?
Love, not fear; Love, not hate; Love elevates.

Politics is thick with pricks
And tricks that try to make you sick
And taking down the carefully placed bricks
Of generations that tried to pick
And choose a path they know would stick
Instead of stink and rarely think
Now we’re on the brink
Of a time bomb ticking
With each word he speaks
Another piece is linked
As a world of peace is left un-inked
With contracts burned
And ships that sink

We must awaken before our very lives are taken
Do not be mistaken, Love has not forsaken you
Join together in Love, let it carry us through.

Through the Storm

Words I wrote 6 years ago, are coming back around to me now, at a perfect moment. The upheaval for soul retrieval, to uproot what is medieval;
Muster the courage to abolish the scourge and make peace with a curse too long endured.
Find a reason to Love through Everything, always learning and listening.

I word-searched my main journal document with the keyword, Grace; looking for grace. It turns out, I write that word quite a lot, and am often in search of it.
It is one of those words with various meanings depending on context, but I found this definition most applicable: “the influence or spirit of the God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them”.
Whether or not you “believe in God”, we’re all searching for the higher good; searching for a way to connect with ‘source’.

We’re in the midst of an incredible growth period as a humanity, which is rife with ‘growing pains’. We must stay open and willing to do the work necessary to evolve. Most importantly, we must Love through Everything, for Love is at our very essence.

I’ll try to remember your face
Before you leave this place
And pray that you can trace
Your path back to grace

Nothing about the past
Can ever be changed back
But the present is vast
And there is nothing you lack

A simple choice to forgive
A sacred chance to live

There is a quickening
The veil is thinning
So much beginning
At the same time ending

Pray hard
Breathe deep
Dream wide awake
Against the sleep

The road gets weary
It can seem so scary
But love is always near
Love will always carry us

Through the storm
Threads are torn
But we are then reborn
Safe and warm.

The ties that bind. Jasmine and vine spirals

Reflections in Stillness; City Park NOLA 2020