Happy Equinox

Shaking off the ghosts of the past

Spring is finally returning at last

The sun softens the frozen ground

The birds call their familiar sounds

Reminders are everywhere

That everything has a cycle and season

A lesson and a reason

Things that felt like they took so long

That maybe it was all wrong

Finally emerged as a beautiful song

With the message that you are right where you belong

Return to Love

8/5/20 –
Return to the cave
To see the light we gave
Return to the well
To see where we fell

Return to the start
To see where we came apart
Return to the end
To understand how we mend

Return to the field
For new sprouts to be revealed
Return to the place
Where you first saw your face

Return to the year
That you first felt the fear
Return to the ground
To feel the primal profound

Release what is rigid
Unfreeze what is frigid
Bring in the goddess Brigid
Persevere and be persistent

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in other posts, but I often find my poems even more relevant to me 6 months later (or find some 15yrs later, like another life cycle on repeat, in a different time frame!) Future note-to-self messages.

Stillness and illness force us to slow down, take stock, review our wounded parts and endeavoring to make peace with the past. In these strange and modern times, we are cultivating courage, processing past pain, and imagining a brighter future. We are practicing patience, and trusting the process. We are letting go and opening up. We are becoming.

🙏💗☮️🌱 stay steady, keep the faith, be ready, stay safe.

A Life Untamed

We come to these bodies at birth
Shell-shocked and in search
Of the meaning, the purpose, the worth
For why we came to this earth

We wonder what’s the mission
What’s behind the division
We wonder if there’s a master vision
Some grand director making the decision

We try to navigate the feelings
To understand what is revealing
Forever searching for a healing
While yet another wound is peeling

Sometimes we try to play dumb
And act like we’re completely numb
Sometimes we’re on the run
Hiding from any real solution

We try to listen to intuition
And not dismiss the information
Sometimes the heart is the ignition
While the head follows false sensation

There’s things that happen in the dead of night
That contradict what we know is right
There are worlds that wander out of sight
Waiting for us to drop the fight

There’s things that happen on another plane
That we’re not aware of and we can’t name
Life itself goes on just the same
Not a thing to control, and futile to tame.

Ancestral healing

Ancestral healing; a subject I’ve been thinking about a lot this year. There’s so much in our DNA, family history, energetic bonds, and soul history that comes into play in our daily lives, some of which we’re not even aware of.

Working with it, sorting through emotions and traumas, both personal and familial, we can better understand ourselves and others, and find some peace in how we live in the world.

Some interesting podcast episodes I’ve listened to recently that talk about this are:

Mark Groves Podcast: 8/25/19 with Mark Wolynn – What Trauma Have You Inherited?
I listened to this one twice, and will probably listen to again; very transformative and fascinating! I’d like to read Mark Wolynn‘s book as well.

So You Think You’re Intuitive Podcast:
Episode 112: Tapping into your unconscious bias to become a better ancestor, with Leesa Renee Hall
Episode 110: How Past Lives Can Affect Your Healing
Episode 67: Intuition Conversations: Koya Webb on Facing Fears to Healing Generational Trauma and Family Healing
Episode 46: Healing Our Ancestor Stories

I obviously connected with host Natalie Miles and her style, as I listened to several in a row! Maybe a little ‘woo woo’ for some at moments, but very cosmic, intuitive, and with reverence for all, which I appreciate.

What have you been reading or listening to on the subject? What have you found in your own family tree that affects you in ways known and unknown?

This time of year is always good for reflection and for planting new seeds.

Peace.


Monday moments of zen: episode 3

I’ve started making little music videos using clips I’ve gathered out in the world and setting them to music that my husband, Matthew, makes. (His practice time at home usually consists of long and lovely loops in hypnotic/meditative rhythms). I’ve posted them on IG/FB the last 3 weeks now, so I thought I’d put them here as well for folks not on those platforms. (Original post below…) P.s. episode 1 & 2 will show up here soon as well. 🙏☮️🍁🥰

We went to @radnorlake two days in a row on our short trip to Nashville last week. The colors and the crisp air are exactly the kind of #forestbathingtherapy we were looking for.
It’s a must-see place in my book.
Here, I’ve captured several moments from our hike and have set them to the soothing sounds of @eldeorazio . I had a 2min video of him that I captured back in Sept, and loved it, so I made the video longer (vs the 1min sessions I’ve shared so far.)
I’m really enjoying making these little instrumental videos for y’all. Enjoy!
.

Lake Radnor, Nashville, with El DeOrazio

Everything is in question

Everything is in question when stillness is all-encompassing for a long period of time. Being a musician in the time of corona, with very few, if any, gigs to play, many layers that were buried, find themselves revealed.

Doubt and grief mix with gratitude and wonder on a moment to moment basis. And even when it’s not covid-time, I fall and rise in and out of these mental valleys where I question everything. I write myself through these blocks and try my best to remember what is real, and to remain hopeful.

Stay steady, stay safe, and keep on keepin’ on. xoxo

What’s Next? Who knows

When I found this poem in my recent journal entries, I fully don’t remember writing it or what was happening surrounding the entry. But I fully resonate with the message. It’s nice to have this kind of reminder at this time, when after 7+ months of not doing what I’ve spent the last several years of my life building, it’s just the encouragement I need; to know that stillness is not an ending. It’s taking a breath. It’s listening for what may come. And being ok with not knowing.

8/11/20 –
There is a call to be less rigid
To be patient and fluid
To not be grasping and gasping for breath
To trust and not be fearing that we’re on the edge of death
In stillness there is renewal
That does not need approval
In listening there is wisdom
That is timeless and continual
Use this space for ritual
Find the patterns that need removal
When the path is ready, it’s natural
You’ll know how to proceed
And what roads you need to travel
Let trust be effortless
It’s not laziness or trying to guess
It’s a matter of knowing
How we’re all deeply blessed
Nourished by this rest
And prepared for what’s next.

Patience and grace to you all out there as we continue to navigate the strange unknowns.

🙏💐🍂

How Long Does Loneliness Last?

We’re all losing people, routines, ways of life; but I have to hope that there’s a higher purpose behind the circus.
Next Sat. (7/4) will be 3 months to the day that my brother left this earthly plane.
Yesterday, at the end of our weekly Facebook live-stream, we did a spoken word loop of this poem, an energetic dedication.
While losing people we love is especially difficult during a global pandemic/revolution, I’m grateful that I’ve had extra down time to write, reflect and meditate; it’s my way of processing my grief, the collective grief, and finding moments of peace.

PS – re: the ‘mask’ in the 2nd paragraph – not the mask debate we see today, but the proverbial mask/disguise we all wear in various moments and phases of life.  Not that I had to tell you that, but maybe I did.

5/4/20 –
Thumbing through the past
With my flag at half mast
The shadows that it’s cast
The questions I should’ve asked

How long does loneliness last?
Why you always wore a mask
Why you never filled your glass
Why you left so fast

It’s been a full 30 days
I know we’ve all prayed
That you’re on the side of grace
That you’re in a better place

But I still miss your face
And even the games that you played
And your mischievous ways
Using words like a maze

As down time increases
We’re all searching for the pieces
Of the puzzle to your story
To find any reasons

While the heartache never ceases
It changes form with the seasons
While our memory decreases
Yours, it just freezes.

My brother and my grandfather, both in the great beyond

My brother and grandmother, both in the great beyond

My brother, Matthew. RIP (1975-2020)

 

The beautiful, haunting cemetery in Terlingua, TX, March 2020.

Ships That Sink

It’s sad to say that nearly 3 years later, under the rule of a hater, we’re deeper in the crater
Global depression under a fool’s obsession for power and oppression
How will we stand up and show up for humanity against this insanity?
Love, not fear; Love, not hate; Love elevates.


8/5/17
Politics is thick with pricks
And tricks that try to make you sick
And taking down the carefully placed bricks
Of generations that tried to pick
And choose a path they know would stick
Instead of stink and rarely think
Now we’re on the brink
Of a time bomb ticking
With each word he speaks
Another piece is linked
As a world of peace is left un-inked
With contracts burned
And ships that sink

We must awaken before our very lives are taken
Do not be mistaken, Love has not forsaken you
Join together in Love, let it carry us through.