How Long Does Loneliness Last?

We’re all losing people, routines, ways of life; but I have to hope that there’s a higher purpose behind the circus.
Next Sat. (7/4) will be 3 months to the day that my brother left this earthly plane.
Yesterday, at the end of our weekly Facebook live-stream, we did a spoken word loop of this poem, an energetic dedication.
While losing people we love is especially difficult during a global pandemic/revolution, I’m grateful that I’ve had extra down time to write, reflect and meditate; it’s my way of processing my grief, the collective grief, and finding moments of peace.

PS – re: the ‘mask’ in the 2nd paragraph – not the mask debate we see today, but the proverbial mask/disguise we all wear in various moments and phases of life.  Not that I had to tell you that, but maybe I did.

5/4/20 –
Thumbing through the past
With my flag at half mast
The shadows that it’s cast
The questions I should’ve asked

How long does loneliness last?
Why you always wore a mask
Why you never filled your glass
Why you left so fast

It’s been a full 30 days
I know we’ve all prayed
That you’re on the side of grace
That you’re in a better place

But I still miss your face
And even the games that you played
And your mischievous ways
Using words like a maze

As down time increases
We’re all searching for the pieces
Of the puzzle to your story
To find any reasons

While the heartache never ceases
It changes form with the seasons
While our memory decreases
Yours, it just freezes.

My brother and my grandfather, both in the great beyond

My brother and grandmother, both in the great beyond

My brother, Matthew. RIP (1975-2020)

 

The beautiful, haunting cemetery in Terlingua, TX, March 2020.